Nil'in

This weekend i travelled to a small Palestinian village called Nil'in. This village along with neighbouring Bil'in have been the hub for local and international protest against the confiscation of land by the Israelis. Though orginally i had planned to protest in Bil'in, an opportunity of a talk and a tour of Nil'in became available. Therefore i and my friends decided to go there instead. After our tour which described the systematic destruction and confication of Nil'in's land we headed to a house for refreshments before the protest. As we sat on the roof enjoying the sun, we noticed the Israeli soldier massing on the same hill we started the tour. All of a sudden they started shooting this brand new high powered teargas cannisters at some kids at the bottom of the hill. These cannisters have to be seen to be believed - they are fired out at such a rapid rate they are just as deadly as live ammunition. The Israeli soldiers then shot at the house we were sitting in, it was suggested that we leave the house, as if the teargas got inside it would be impossible to get rid of.

We had a 50metre run in open space before we hit the relative safety of a big wall. I ran as quick as i could, then all of a sudden one of the cannister whizzed past my head. It was a terrifying sound, i couldnt believe they travelled so quickly. If that hit my head - i would have died - im sure of it. As i sat shocked behind the wall - the teargas hit, so we had to run even further down the road, eyes streaming with water and in alot of discomfort.

We hadn't even started to protest yet.

As we joined the hundreds of protesters we were told to move into the town towards the barriers - but nomore than a hundred metres in a barrage of teargas cannisters and rubber coated steal bullets flew all around, and everyone had to run back - me and my partner, Martha, got separated at this point. It is such a innate feeling - when danger is near - you run... and fast. It was only when i stopped in the town centre i realised that Martha was not in the group i ran with. I started to panic, but was comforted that she was with some other friends.

Everytime the protesters got anywhere near the Israeli soldiers - they responded with teargas and rubber bullets. A demonstration was impossible. Only the most bravest (Israeli protesters being among them) dared to get near the soldiers - but they were quickly dispersed.

As i regrouped with Martha news came that a local protester in the neighbouring village of Bil'in had died from being shot in the chest with one of the gas cannisters (one which flashed by my head). Similarly a few weeks ago Tristan Anderson an American peace activist sustained severe brain damage and is still in a coma after being hit in the head with these cannisters. I sat there with so many questions running around my head. Save for a few random gas cannisters and a few dashes for cover my protest in Nil'in was affectively over, i didnt know what i achieved by being there - but i hope it was something. Every week people protest, peacefully there. Every week someone is severe injured or killed. It is the way Palestinians live their lives - a way i of course understood but only now really appreciated the traumatic situations they are put through.

Two images have stayed in my memory from this demonstration - and have raised big questions on both: -

First and most obvious is the new gas cannister. Whatever you view points on the usage of teargas at peaceful protests, i cannot understand the introduction of gas cannisters that can kill. I know from first hand experience how quickly these cannisters are shot out. The killing of the local palestinian man last weekend is conclusive proof that these cannister are deadly. These cannisters also give the Israeli Soldiers a psuedo legitmacy to kill. They are supposed to be none-deadly, and they are treated as such (as in used profficiently). But they are just as deadly as live ammunition and need to be banned immediately.

The second is the image of the owner (an elderly man) of the house we were staying in walking home after Friday Prayer. As he walked passed i thought nothing of it. But after i had time to think i realised - He has to walk passed the place we were shot at. If the Israelis think its ok to shot at 4-5 internationals who are running for cover - they wont think twice about shooting at an elderly palestinian man walking home. Every week he, and others in the village run the risk of being shot at - for walking home. An image i just cannot shift.

Democractic states allow protests - Palestinians are faced with the possibility of death, if they protest on...their...own...land. Israel claims to be the only democratic state in the Middle East. I have extreme doubts.

Jobless, Homeless, Penniless - but Happy

Last week - i quit my job, and though looking back it may not have been the most sensible option - it was one that had to be taken. I do take solice in the fact that every international that has ever worked there leaves in blaze of anger and frustration. So i am not alone.

I therefore have had a week to assess my life - and i am liking the results. Ok, so i am broke, i have no job, and currently no house, but im happy, i am actually happy. Ana beheb Falasteen kter.

Last weekend i went to the Golan Heights - Occupied Syrian Territory in the the North of Israel, it was so beautiful and relaxing, but of course it was tinged with the sense of foreboding. Similar to East Jerusalem, it is hard to see the Israeli give this part of the country back. I also went to Erez border to Gaza in the South of Israel, and though of course i coundn't get it - it was such a humbling experience to be so close to a region that is currently in such dire straits, one day i will be in that region, that i am sure with.

In 4 weeks time - im leaving this place, and though i only plan to leave for a few weeks - i really do not feel ready to go just yet, i look forward to seeing my family and friends - but my time here in Palestine is not completed yet - not by a long, long way.